I was laying in my bed and decided to type this up on my Word program on my cellphone. I told Trizz I would write a "gratitude list" but felt compelled to post this instead.
Last night tears poured down
water filled with emotion and conviction
of past mistakes
Outbursts and uncontrolled sobbing
of pain and sorrow
Some shielding themselves as to not take part in..
others simply watched in anticipation
I on the other hand watched intently and fed my soul
let my mind become alleviated as all burdens were cast away
with a deep, relieving sigh
I listened ..
while my Father spoke ..
I laid in bed ..
and listened ..
as He made sure all of his creations ..
Big or Small were nourished
The storm is over now
and I am alright.
-Isis
Side note - you all are some wonderful people. I appreciate all comments left, and I receive all prayers sent. Thanks.
she's physically in cleveland. emotionally in virginia. short female. 26 years old. nonchalant at times. sassy. smart-mouthed. always laughing. breathes music. single by default. workaholic by choice. an aquarius.. enough said. yes this is Her Story.
From: Cleveland, Ohio
About me: she's physically in cleveland. emotionally in virginia. short female. 26 years old. nonchalant at times. sassy. smart-mouthed. always laughing. breathes music. single by default. workaholic by choice. an aquarius.. enough said. yes this is Her Story.
Tuesday, September 26, 2006
posted by thee modern isis at 9:00 AM
So many things are going on about now.
Mentally I'm tired, emotionally spent, my body is weary and my soul is weak.
1. My mother is a bonified alcoholic. The doctor's told her she's teetering towards a stroke and she needed to put the bottle down. Her reply was hell naw.
2. My brother is 9 and in the 4th grade. School has basically just started and he's had 2 detentions and has been suspended once. My mother's reply? "shrug"
3. I've been working every Saturday except the 23rd. I'll start again this Saturday because my desk is clouded with closing projects.
4. When I speak with my grandmother about my mother, I see the pain in her eyes. After all,she is her daughter. I hear the pain in her voice but her words are of a strong woman. "All I can do is pray, that's all we can do, I put it in His hands, all in His hands."
5. Do I hate her? No. Do I dislike her? Yes. I dislike all that my mother has become. I dislike all that she did to me. I dislike all of the thought she is putting in my brother's head. I dislike the mental strain she is putting on her parents, my grandparents. I dislike her.
6. My brother and I have different dead beat dads. His dad moreso then mine. My mother gave my brother his father's phone number. My brother calls and his wife answers. She says he will call back. My brother waits by the phone. He never calls back.
7. What do you say to a child, who cries to you that his daddy doesn't love him?
8. My answer? I smiled and told him he has enough love from me, his mommy, jha-jha (grandma) and granddaddy. Of course, I cracked a joke and pinched his cheek.. I told em besides.. who wouldn't love a face like this?
9. He was satisfied, for now. I went to the bathroom and cried.
10. I'm trying to be Wonderwoman. With my mother, I try to put on a facade that I don't care about her "not claiming me". Around my brother, I try to be his backbone, his mother, a friend, a role model, a sister.
Mentally I'm tired, emotionally spent, my body is weary and my soul is weak.
-Isis
Mentally I'm tired, emotionally spent, my body is weary and my soul is weak.
1. My mother is a bonified alcoholic. The doctor's told her she's teetering towards a stroke and she needed to put the bottle down. Her reply was hell naw.
2. My brother is 9 and in the 4th grade. School has basically just started and he's had 2 detentions and has been suspended once. My mother's reply? "shrug"
3. I've been working every Saturday except the 23rd. I'll start again this Saturday because my desk is clouded with closing projects.
4. When I speak with my grandmother about my mother, I see the pain in her eyes. After all,she is her daughter. I hear the pain in her voice but her words are of a strong woman. "All I can do is pray, that's all we can do, I put it in His hands, all in His hands."
5. Do I hate her? No. Do I dislike her? Yes. I dislike all that my mother has become. I dislike all that she did to me. I dislike all of the thought she is putting in my brother's head. I dislike the mental strain she is putting on her parents, my grandparents. I dislike her.
6. My brother and I have different dead beat dads. His dad moreso then mine. My mother gave my brother his father's phone number. My brother calls and his wife answers. She says he will call back. My brother waits by the phone. He never calls back.
7. What do you say to a child, who cries to you that his daddy doesn't love him?
8. My answer? I smiled and told him he has enough love from me, his mommy, jha-jha (grandma) and granddaddy. Of course, I cracked a joke and pinched his cheek.. I told em besides.. who wouldn't love a face like this?
9. He was satisfied, for now. I went to the bathroom and cried.
10. I'm trying to be Wonderwoman. With my mother, I try to put on a facade that I don't care about her "not claiming me". Around my brother, I try to be his backbone, his mother, a friend, a role model, a sister.
Mentally I'm tired, emotionally spent, my body is weary and my soul is weak.
-Isis
Tuesday, September 19, 2006
posted by thee modern isis at 9:47 AM
The year was 1993. My mom had just enrolled me in Catholic School after all of the past years being in Public School and being bussed to the Westside of Cleveland.
"Maaaaaaa!?", I yelled. "Why do I have to wear a uniform, everybody is gonna look the same and that's not good." "Girl, stop complaining. I'll be able to take you to and from school sometimes, and so will your grandfather. You won't have to ride the school bus anymore all the way to the other side of town, I thought you liked that?", Mom asked. "I do, but I won't be able to wear my BK's anymore, I gotta wear penny loafers and I gotta hang with nuns.. aren't they mean?", I whined. While holding in her laughter, Mom said," Girl you are too much, you'll like it plus I'm paying too much for you not to like it so go get dressed, I laid out your shirt and skirt on the bed."
While in the car, I looked out the window and saw all of the kids getting on buses. I thought about my best friend from the old school, my first boyfriend from last year and the fact that he wouldn't be able to bring me peanut M&M's everyday anymore. I thought about what Chris had told me about liking me. Damn, he was fine and mixed with pretty hair, I thought while shaking my head. Rubbing my eyes, I bent down and slanted my white socks to the side then pushed them down a little. Atleast I can have some kinda style, I thought.
"Boo?", Mom said.
"Huh?"
Rolls eyes," What did I tell you about answering me like that?"
"Yessss?"
"I want you to have a good day in school today, granddaddy's gonna pick you up later."
"Ok, ma."
"I love you."
"I love you too ma."
Just before I could get out the car. "Lemme see your face, you got toothpaste right there," Mom said while spitting on her thumb to wipe it off my face. "Ughhh maaaaa, stop!"
I jump out of the car and walked up to the building.
Hmph.. St. Benedicts, I swear a nun better not slap me on the knuckles or she's gonna regret it.
I walked to the back of the school and looked around. There were kids in single file lines and a teacher in front of each one with a sign that had their name. Shaking my head, this is gonna be some dumb shit, I muttered underneath my breath. Walking by I looked for the name Sister Marybeth. I stopped in front of a white lady with short, silverish hair. She was wearing a long gray skirt with white tights, a white ribbed shirt and a navy blue sweater. Hanging from her skirt pocket was some kind of beaded thing with a cross.(I would later found out, they were rosary beads) While smiling widely, she said to me," What's your name child?" I looked around and smirked at her, "My name's Isis." She glanced down a sheet of paper, checked it off then told me to get in line. I walked to the end of the line while looking down at my feet.
"Maaaaaaa!?", I yelled. "Why do I have to wear a uniform, everybody is gonna look the same and that's not good." "Girl, stop complaining. I'll be able to take you to and from school sometimes, and so will your grandfather. You won't have to ride the school bus anymore all the way to the other side of town, I thought you liked that?", Mom asked. "I do, but I won't be able to wear my BK's anymore, I gotta wear penny loafers and I gotta hang with nuns.. aren't they mean?", I whined. While holding in her laughter, Mom said," Girl you are too much, you'll like it plus I'm paying too much for you not to like it so go get dressed, I laid out your shirt and skirt on the bed."
While in the car, I looked out the window and saw all of the kids getting on buses. I thought about my best friend from the old school, my first boyfriend from last year and the fact that he wouldn't be able to bring me peanut M&M's everyday anymore. I thought about what Chris had told me about liking me. Damn, he was fine and mixed with pretty hair, I thought while shaking my head. Rubbing my eyes, I bent down and slanted my white socks to the side then pushed them down a little. Atleast I can have some kinda style, I thought.
"Boo?", Mom said.
"Huh?"
Rolls eyes," What did I tell you about answering me like that?"
"Yessss?"
"I want you to have a good day in school today, granddaddy's gonna pick you up later."
"Ok, ma."
"I love you."
"I love you too ma."
Just before I could get out the car. "Lemme see your face, you got toothpaste right there," Mom said while spitting on her thumb to wipe it off my face. "Ughhh maaaaa, stop!"
I jump out of the car and walked up to the building.
Hmph.. St. Benedicts, I swear a nun better not slap me on the knuckles or she's gonna regret it.
I walked to the back of the school and looked around. There were kids in single file lines and a teacher in front of each one with a sign that had their name. Shaking my head, this is gonna be some dumb shit, I muttered underneath my breath. Walking by I looked for the name Sister Marybeth. I stopped in front of a white lady with short, silverish hair. She was wearing a long gray skirt with white tights, a white ribbed shirt and a navy blue sweater. Hanging from her skirt pocket was some kind of beaded thing with a cross.(I would later found out, they were rosary beads) While smiling widely, she said to me," What's your name child?" I looked around and smirked at her, "My name's Isis." She glanced down a sheet of paper, checked it off then told me to get in line. I walked to the end of the line while looking down at my feet.
After about 15 minutes, we all followed our new teacher into the school and our new class. She showed us our coat hangers in the room and where to put our bookbags. Sister Marybeth introduced herself to the class and told us the things she enjoyed doing. I looked at all of the kids, with the exception of a few.. some were just not too kind on the eyes. After doing some Bellwork and a few other miscellaneous assignments. My stomach grumbled and the bell rang. It was now lunchtime.
I went inside of the coatroom and grabbed my yellow Peanuts lunchbox. We walked in a single file line outside and to another small building. I guess this is the lunch room but how the hell they have a lunchroom outside?, I wondered. I looked at all of the tables and you could tell the people that knew each other. Grades 4th grade to 8th were all in the cafeteria. Kids were laughing and talking with each other, throwing peas across the room. The boys were playing pencil breaks and when the lunchaids confiscated the pencils, they played spork breaks. The girl's were playing hand slaps and gossiping about who went with who. I walked around with my lunchbox to find a place to sit so I could eat, my stomach was playing some serious beats. I found a table with some rowdy girls and sat at the end. I didn't really care, I was quiet but hardly a pushover so I dared someone to jump bad.
I opened the baggy to pull out my ham and cheese sandwich when I heard some kids knocking stuff over. I turned around and seen this skinny lightskinned girl with red framed glasses in the middle of these 2 burly girls.
Burly girl #1: While pushing the lightskinned girl, "Bitch now what, you sat in my place."
Burly girl#2: Pushes the lightskinned girl the other way while laughing," ay you better stop before she hits you."
Burly girl #1: SIKE!!! She ain't gonna do nothing.. look, she bout to cry.
Lightskinned girl: I told ya'll I would move, I didn't know the seat was taken.
Burly girl #1: Stop fucking whining, I should beat ya ass just for the hell of it.
So I'm sitting there, biting my sandwich watching this "so called fight." I looked at the table where the lightskinned girl was sitting and they weren't doing nothing but watching also. I rolled my eyes and signed, I guess Imma get kicked out on my first day. I get up and walked over to the scene. I grabbed the lightskinned girl's hand and pulled her out the middle of the 2 big broads. By now she was flush red with tears down her face, starring at me.
Burly girl #1: Who the fuck are you? Do you know her?
Burly girl #2: Naw I don't know her.
Burly girl#2 looked at me and said, " ay wtf are you doing? You know you interrupting which means you can catch it too."
I twisted my lips to the side and said, "Not likely.. wtf you messin with the girl? Leave her alone, go eat ya lunch and quit fuckin wit people."
They laughed at me and started turning to the side to see who all was watching. All eyes were on us, the whole cafeteria got quiet and was seeing who was gonna get they ass beat. So I'm not one to back down and I knew I had to say something drastic so these beasts knew I had the upper hand and wasn't one to be fucked wit'. I then said," you know what, you don't know about me but keep talkin' smack and you'll find out.. ya'll 2 nappy headed bitches need to go finish ya'll lunches or matter of fact, ya'll need to push back from the table a little.. how old are ya'll anyway?.. ya'll 2 fuckin wide to be in the 5th grade." A few of the kids on the side started snickering and before I knew it, the whole room was yelling," oooohhhhh.. BASE!" The 2 winderbeasts threw they hand in the air and said, "forget you!" while they left the room and went to look for a teacher to tell.
I looked around and went to the table with the skinny lightskinned girl. Since the girl's had knocked her lunch on the floor, I gave her half of my ham sandwich and 1 of my hoho's. We started laughing about how ugly the girl's were and how they had about 50-11 scrunchies wrapped around a ity-bity ponytail. I found out her name was L and she was new to the school too. Eventually, I ended up with a rep of being a tough girl but L was and still remains to be my Ace.
I told this story because L's birthday is today. She officially turns 24 years old and we've been best friend's since 5th grade. She's held my hand through my mother's mental changes and the death of my big grandma, I've been by her side through her grandma's death and her first love. Whenever I thought I didn't have anyone to listen to me, I could always count on L. Through thick and thin she has always been my right hand.
Friends are hard to come by so I truly cherish the one's that I have.
Happy Birthday Girl!
-Isis
Friday, September 15, 2006
posted by thee modern isis at 9:22 AM
On life's path. Can I walk with you, talk with you?
I love the man that you have become, the man that I now cherish and adore.. a good man. I believe that God is real.. and He has placed you in my life for a reason. He had me prepare myself for you and when all was done.. He said to you," Talk to her.. she's the one I made for you."
Understand this.. that even if this is not meant to go on for eternity.. as long as I was given the opportunity to know you. You are my beautiful surprise. As long as He is living throughus.. I know that the only way that we can go up and beyond.. due to His joy and everlasting love.. and with that I know that we are headed in the right direction.
We need to get it together .. you are the one... MY one.
The truth is, is that amongst the large things I love .. all of the little things that you possess within have also caused a growth in me. A growth of love and admiration, confusion and curiosity that I'm not sure I want healed. Sexual healing? Mmm.. maybe but it's not just that. I want all of you.
When I was younger I seemed to have a mental blueprint of exactly how I wanted my life to be.. like a wonderful symphony. Every chord and note just right, in it's own place. All things changed once I laid eyes on you.. it turned everything I ever thought about into a complicated melody. A melody that I am content with.
Is this moving too fast for you? Am I telling you too much because I'm not sure if I have the ability to pause my heart and tell it to slow down. I shower you with nothing but gratitude for allowing me entrance into your heart, your soul and your life.
* all words in blue are titles of tracks on India Arie's album; Voyage to India.
Let me emphasize that I am by all means not a poet.. my words flow like a heavy current when I am dealing with something, or going through things. It can't be stopped and if tried it leaves my mind going in too many directions. With that being said.. I hope you have your raincoat.. because I am definitely going through some ish.
-Isis
I love the man that you have become, the man that I now cherish and adore.. a good man. I believe that God is real.. and He has placed you in my life for a reason. He had me prepare myself for you and when all was done.. He said to you," Talk to her.. she's the one I made for you."
Understand this.. that even if this is not meant to go on for eternity.. as long as I was given the opportunity to know you. You are my beautiful surprise. As long as He is living throughus.. I know that the only way that we can go up and beyond.. due to His joy and everlasting love.. and with that I know that we are headed in the right direction.
We need to get it together .. you are the one... MY one.
The truth is, is that amongst the large things I love .. all of the little things that you possess within have also caused a growth in me. A growth of love and admiration, confusion and curiosity that I'm not sure I want healed. Sexual healing? Mmm.. maybe but it's not just that. I want all of you.
When I was younger I seemed to have a mental blueprint of exactly how I wanted my life to be.. like a wonderful symphony. Every chord and note just right, in it's own place. All things changed once I laid eyes on you.. it turned everything I ever thought about into a complicated melody. A melody that I am content with.
Is this moving too fast for you? Am I telling you too much because I'm not sure if I have the ability to pause my heart and tell it to slow down. I shower you with nothing but gratitude for allowing me entrance into your heart, your soul and your life.
* all words in blue are titles of tracks on India Arie's album; Voyage to India.
Let me emphasize that I am by all means not a poet.. my words flow like a heavy current when I am dealing with something, or going through things. It can't be stopped and if tried it leaves my mind going in too many directions. With that being said.. I hope you have your raincoat.. because I am definitely going through some ish.
-Isis
Wednesday, September 13, 2006
posted by thee modern isis at 9:25 AM
Last night
as the sun left traces of purple hues and
tranquility in the sky
I felt our souls fuse with the current of a thousand possibilites
endless
enhancing
intoxicating
this power...
....this
this ..
energy
I felt this morning
as the sun rose over greenery
and made it's presence known.
as the sun left traces of purple hues and
tranquility in the sky
I felt our souls fuse with the current of a thousand possibilites
endless
enhancing
intoxicating
intriguing me
this power...
....this
this ..
energy
I felt this morning
as the sun rose over greenery
and made it's presence known.
Tuesday, September 12, 2006
posted by thee modern isis at 9:06 AM
These are some of the things going on with me.. other then that I'm working like an Egyptian Slave. I'll post something Real soon enough, as for right now this will have to do.
- Finally decided I'm going to apply for a part-time job.
- so all together that'll be full-time job, part-time school and a part-time job..
- I can do it.. Imma G
- I've had my heart encased in teflon for so long...
- but I think he's actually getting through to it.
- and I'm liking the way it's feeling
- I think I'm getting to him also though..
- he actually let me drive his car that's on 22's...
- why was I stuntin' so hard though down the street?
- the Sociology class I'm taking is called... Dating, Marriage and Intimate Relationships..
- it's a web class and I swear it's full of Shera-men-haters.
- my ex's mother called me to tell me her son was moving back to Cleveland from Boston...
- she says I was good for him.. she thinks we should get back together...
- she's a day late and a dollar short... .
- should have told him that when he got engaged 2 months after we broke up.. .
- then found out ol' girl was cheating on him with her ex...
- serves him right.. hmph.
- but damn could he blow a back out.
- I want to hit the lottery 1 good time.. for a minimum of $500,000
- My uncle hit for $20,000 and a year later my aunt hit for $10,000
- when will it be my turn got dammit?
- Ever see someone so sexy.. you bit your lip at all of the possibilities?
- I did.
- on the hood of my car? too bad it was so many people outside.
- i just might have done it.
Wednesday, September 06, 2006
posted by thee modern isis at 2:47 PM
Body like Arnold with a Denzel face..
Damn .. Pepa wasn't lyin she had good taste
Damn .. Pepa wasn't lyin she had good taste
I would probably say physique of Kodjoe or maybe Morris
Political views of Common but not above lounging watching Facts of Life reruns & humming the chorus
Hard day at work? your bag? Baby lemme get that...
Take your hand and squeeze it soft before you make it to the welcome mat
Naw.. my name ain't Sylvia but I can throw down with a stove
While you're on the sofa cheering about the yardage Frye drove
Street smarts and book smarts..
what a sexy combination
And when he enters the room..
his sheer presence demands deliberation
Doesn't have to utter a word
his eyes speak how much he loves me
and when they drop a little and linger over hotspots..
a meeting in my bedroom.. mm kitchen.. mm wall? that's a definite guarantee
Not afraid to show a little affection in a roomful of his boys, sands or fam..
kisses me on my neck and cracks a joke at them
..Naw my man don't give a damn
Confidence? He wears it well ..
like a Valentino suit jacket with the navy lapel
on Saturday he's adorned in Akademic jeans with a Indians New Era brim..
straight? naw.. tilted? yeah
Timb boots.. unlaced.. navy suede with the white trim
my imagination is on point.. like Stacy Adams.. remember those?
but until he comes forth .. I'll keep blogging
with enough time on my hands until he shows.
Monday, September 04, 2006
posted by thee modern isis at 10:15 AM
My family had a BBQ so of course I was over there. Not much drama, other then my 60 year old aunt having Yung Joc- It's going down as a ringtone on her cellphone. Um.. yeah.. I need to know where she got that from and what does she know about the motorcycle dance. My other 60 year old aunt got pissy drunk and spent about 5 minutes trying to pick up a spoon she dropped on the floor. After giggling at her.. I decided to help her out and pick it up for her. Lemme see.. my 24 year old cousin has a new girlfriend and upon getting interogated by the fam and not bringing her around.. he ran out the house. Other then typical shit.. nothing much went down. Seeing as how I'm off of work today.. I'll kick back and bum around until 6.
Here goes...
1) Full Name: Sheesh.. all of the anonymity is out of the window.. Natasha Irisha
2) Name Backwards: ahsirI ahsataN .. lmao yes I realize that my first name spells Satan.
3) Were you named after anyone? my father's name is Antoine and my mother was going to name me Antoinette.. then my Auntie was reading War and Peace and the character in the book's name was Natasha. So there ya have it. I don't know where the hell they got Irisha.
4) Does your name mean anything? Natasha is a Russian name branched off of the Latin name Natalia which means "Christmas Day". Again.. I don't know where the hell they got Irisha.
5) Nick Name(s): T, Tash, Tasha, Nat, Rish... etc.
6) Screen Name(s): mzz_koffeebrown on Yahoo.
7) Date Of Birth: February 18, 1982
8) Place of Birth: Fort Ord, California
9) Nationality: American
10) Current Location: Cleveland, OH
11) Sign: Aquarius but on the border of Pisces
12) Religion: Christian
13) Height: I am respectively 5'1
14) Skin color: Brownskinned
15) Shoe Size: 7 1/2 in women; 6 in boys
16) Hair colour: dark brown and black
17) Eye colour: brown
18) What do you look like? So I added one of my photos ..
19) Innie or Outie? Innie
20) Right, Lefty, or Ambidextrous? Righthanded
21) Gay, Straight, Bi, or Other? Straight
22) Best friend(s): G-Mama, Lorean, Alicia
23) Best friend you trust the most: G-Mama
24) Best friends {your sex}: Lorean.. we've known each other since 5th grade.
25) Best friends of the opposite sex: I would have to say.. my play brother Black
26) Best Bud(s): I'm not repeating myself
27) Boyfriend / Girlfriend: Can't say that I do
28) Crush: A crush? I haven't had one of those in a while unless you count Nasir Bin Oludara Jones
29) Parent(s): My brother's mother is around here somewhere; my dad is in Fayetteville, NC
30) Worst Enemy: the devil is a liar.
31) Favourite on-line Guy(s): Black, Maurice and T. Cas
32) Favourite on-line Girl(s): hmm... Nikki, Tenacious, Trish, Laura (in no specific order)
33) Funniest friend: Sheena.. she keeps me laughing
34) Craziest friend: My cousin Nikki (not to be confused with the Blogger).. that heffa is a mental case.
35) Advice Friend: G-Mama
36) Loudest Friend: Nikki, she talks loud for no damn reason.
37) Person you cry with: I don't cry with specific people.. they just flow.
Do You Have...
38) Any sisters: ahalf sister that's 27
39) Any brothers: a brother that's 9
40) Any pets: No, but I want a yorkie.
41) A Disease: nope, thankfully not.
42) A Pager: lol I was queen of the pagers back in high school.
43) A Personal phone line: yup
44) A Cell phone: it's my life
45) A Lava lamp: no, but I wanted one in high school
46) A Pool or hot tub: nope
47) A Car: yup
Describe Your...
48) Personality: sarcastic as a mofo, nonchalant, driven, caring, sincere
49) Driving: a NY driver in Cleveland. get it?
50) Car or one you want: lol a tricked out Cavalier Coupe.. I want a Mitsubishi Eclipse,
51) Room: beige suede and polished oak bedrom set with silver footing
52) What’s missing? from my room? myself because I'm laid across the floor in the dining room on my laptop
53) School: I've taken so many breaks (not by choice) so I'm still there
54) Bed: A bed fit only for a Queen
55) Relationship with your parent(s): My father was hardly around but I speak to him more then my mother. enough said.
56) Believe in yourself: 96%
57) Do you believe in love at first sight? Not really
58) Consider yourself a good listener: Believe it or not.. I'm quiet as hell before I get to know people.. You learn alot when you just sit back and watch.
59) Sleep in PJs: sometimes.. more so boyshorts and a wife beater.
60) Get Along with your parents: I condone them.
61) Save your e-mail conversations: Work: all of the time ; Leisure: Sometimes if it's something important
62) Pray: yup
63) Believe in reincarnation: no
64) Like to make fun of people: lol yeah, but only if you're a hot ass mess.
65) Like to talk on the phone: not unless I have something to say.. or when I feel like caking on the phone late at night.
66) Like to eat: Depends on what it is and if I'm hungry
67) Like to drive: Only if I'm going on a road trip.
68) Get motion sickness: No
69) Eat the stems of broccoli: Broccoli with butter.. mmmm
70) Eat Chicken fingers with a fork: No
71) Dream in colour: Yes.
72) Type with your fingers on home row: nope... imagine that. Graduated from HS with a concentration in Legal Secretary and can type 60+ wpm and doesn't utilize the homerow key.
73) Sleep with a stuffed animal: No stuffed animal.. just one huge body pillow.
What Is…
74) Right next to you: my work briefcase to the left and my TP2.COM cd to the right.
75) On the walls of your room: Nothing at all
76) On your mouse pad: It's an internal mouse.. no mousepad.
77) Your dream car: the Eclipse.
78) Your dream date: No idea, as long as I am enjoying myself.
79) Your dream honeymoon spot: somewhere on a black sanded beach.
80) Your dream husband/wife: at this present time.. he is at home.
81) Your bedtime: I don't have one of those
82) Under your bed: Not a damn thing.. I'm washing clothes now.
83) The single most important question: Will she change?
84) Your bad time of the day: In the morning before my coffee.
85) Your worst fear(s): I don't want to think about that.
86) The weather you like: Mid 70's, sunny, with a breeze
87) The time? 11:00 a.m.
88) The date? September 4, 2006
89) The best trick you ever played on someone: lol it really wasn't a trick. I used to put my grandmother's styrofoam wig head's at the top of the stairs so that my brother (when he was 1) wouldn't climb up them. He was deathly afraid of them. Not to mention I drew on them and decorated their faces.
90) The weirdest food or drink that you like: Um.. I like jelly on scrambled eggs.
91) Theme Song: "Movies" by Ashanti .. right now.
92) The hardest thing about growing up: shit.. having bills.
93) Your funniest experience: I was over my friend's house and a big ass possom had jetted across the street and headed towards me. I was on the front lawn like wdf is that. But when I saw the tail I ran away screaming.. I think I shimmied up the side of the porch.
94) Your scariest moment: lol when I was 18 and went on a date with Anthony. We fell asleep in his truck by the lake. When I woke up it was 4 a.m. I slapped him in the chest and told him he better drive me home before my granddaddy started getting out of the bed to stand on the porch with his rifle. I got home madd quick and was sneaking up the stairs in the dark to get in the bed.. my grandmother was at the top in her night gown like," Do you know what time it is?" All I remember saying is, "Huh?"
95) The silliest thing you've done: we had a pole dancing contest while we were drunk. All I know is I woke up shirtless and cold.
96) The funniest or most desperate thing you've done to get the attention of the opposite sex? lol when I was younger I worked at Hom.e Dep.ot. I would walk back and forth down the same damn aisle. It worked a few times though.
97) The scariest thing that's ever happened while with your friend(s): Shit.. me and some college friends were heading from Toledo. A rusty pickup truck with a confederate flag was in the window and started chasing us down the road. I swear we was scared out of our damn minds.
98) The best feeling in the world: love is one helluva drug.
99) The worst feeling in the world: to feel like you have no one in your corner.
100) 3 people you tag: I got tagged. So no, I will not have anyone else suffer. Do it if ya want though.
Here goes...
1) Full Name: Sheesh.. all of the anonymity is out of the window.. Natasha Irisha
2) Name Backwards: ahsirI ahsataN .. lmao yes I realize that my first name spells Satan.
3) Were you named after anyone? my father's name is Antoine and my mother was going to name me Antoinette.. then my Auntie was reading War and Peace and the character in the book's name was Natasha. So there ya have it. I don't know where the hell they got Irisha.
4) Does your name mean anything? Natasha is a Russian name branched off of the Latin name Natalia which means "Christmas Day". Again.. I don't know where the hell they got Irisha.
5) Nick Name(s): T, Tash, Tasha, Nat, Rish... etc.
6) Screen Name(s): mzz_koffeebrown on Yahoo.
7) Date Of Birth: February 18, 1982
8) Place of Birth: Fort Ord, California
9) Nationality: American
10) Current Location: Cleveland, OH
11) Sign: Aquarius but on the border of Pisces
12) Religion: Christian
13) Height: I am respectively 5'1
14) Skin color: Brownskinned
15) Shoe Size: 7 1/2 in women; 6 in boys
16) Hair colour: dark brown and black
17) Eye colour: brown
18) What do you look like? So I added one of my photos ..
19) Innie or Outie? Innie
20) Right, Lefty, or Ambidextrous? Righthanded
21) Gay, Straight, Bi, or Other? Straight
22) Best friend(s): G-Mama, Lorean, Alicia
23) Best friend you trust the most: G-Mama
24) Best friends {your sex}: Lorean.. we've known each other since 5th grade.
25) Best friends of the opposite sex: I would have to say.. my play brother Black
26) Best Bud(s): I'm not repeating myself
27) Boyfriend / Girlfriend: Can't say that I do
28) Crush: A crush? I haven't had one of those in a while unless you count Nasir Bin Oludara Jones
29) Parent(s): My brother's mother is around here somewhere; my dad is in Fayetteville, NC
30) Worst Enemy: the devil is a liar.
31) Favourite on-line Guy(s): Black, Maurice and T. Cas
32) Favourite on-line Girl(s): hmm... Nikki, Tenacious, Trish, Laura (in no specific order)
33) Funniest friend: Sheena.. she keeps me laughing
34) Craziest friend: My cousin Nikki (not to be confused with the Blogger).. that heffa is a mental case.
35) Advice Friend: G-Mama
36) Loudest Friend: Nikki, she talks loud for no damn reason.
37) Person you cry with: I don't cry with specific people.. they just flow.
Do You Have...
38) Any sisters: a
39) Any brothers: a brother that's 9
40) Any pets: No, but I want a yorkie.
41) A Disease: nope, thankfully not.
42) A Pager: lol I was queen of the pagers back in high school.
43) A Personal phone line: yup
44) A Cell phone: it's my life
45) A Lava lamp: no, but I wanted one in high school
46) A Pool or hot tub: nope
47) A Car: yup
Describe Your...
48) Personality: sarcastic as a mofo, nonchalant, driven, caring, sincere
49) Driving: a NY driver in Cleveland. get it?
50) Car or one you want: lol a tricked out Cavalier Coupe.. I want a Mitsubishi Eclipse,
51) Room: beige suede and polished oak bedrom set with silver footing
52) What’s missing? from my room? myself because I'm laid across the floor in the dining room on my laptop
53) School: I've taken so many breaks (not by choice) so I'm still there
54) Bed: A bed fit only for a Queen
55) Relationship with your parent(s): My father was hardly around but I speak to him more then my mother. enough said.
56) Believe in yourself: 96%
57) Do you believe in love at first sight? Not really
58) Consider yourself a good listener: Believe it or not.. I'm quiet as hell before I get to know people.. You learn alot when you just sit back and watch.
59) Sleep in PJs: sometimes.. more so boyshorts and a wife beater.
60) Get Along with your parents: I condone them.
61) Save your e-mail conversations: Work: all of the time ; Leisure: Sometimes if it's something important
62) Pray: yup
63) Believe in reincarnation: no
64) Like to make fun of people: lol yeah, but only if you're a hot ass mess.
65) Like to talk on the phone: not unless I have something to say.. or when I feel like caking on the phone late at night.
66) Like to eat: Depends on what it is and if I'm hungry
67) Like to drive: Only if I'm going on a road trip.
68) Get motion sickness: No
69) Eat the stems of broccoli: Broccoli with butter.. mmmm
70) Eat Chicken fingers with a fork: No
71) Dream in colour: Yes.
72) Type with your fingers on home row: nope... imagine that. Graduated from HS with a concentration in Legal Secretary and can type 60+ wpm and doesn't utilize the homerow key.
73) Sleep with a stuffed animal: No stuffed animal.. just one huge body pillow.
What Is…
74) Right next to you: my work briefcase to the left and my TP2.COM cd to the right.
75) On the walls of your room: Nothing at all
76) On your mouse pad: It's an internal mouse.. no mousepad.
77) Your dream car: the Eclipse.
78) Your dream date: No idea, as long as I am enjoying myself.
79) Your dream honeymoon spot: somewhere on a black sanded beach.
80) Your dream husband/wife: at this present time.. he is at home.
81) Your bedtime: I don't have one of those
82) Under your bed: Not a damn thing.. I'm washing clothes now.
83) The single most important question: Will she change?
84) Your bad time of the day: In the morning before my coffee.
85) Your worst fear(s): I don't want to think about that.
86) The weather you like: Mid 70's, sunny, with a breeze
87) The time? 11:00 a.m.
88) The date? September 4, 2006
89) The best trick you ever played on someone: lol it really wasn't a trick. I used to put my grandmother's styrofoam wig head's at the top of the stairs so that my brother (when he was 1) wouldn't climb up them. He was deathly afraid of them. Not to mention I drew on them and decorated their faces.
90) The weirdest food or drink that you like: Um.. I like jelly on scrambled eggs.
91) Theme Song: "Movies" by Ashanti .. right now.
92) The hardest thing about growing up: shit.. having bills.
93) Your funniest experience: I was over my friend's house and a big ass possom had jetted across the street and headed towards me. I was on the front lawn like wdf is that. But when I saw the tail I ran away screaming.. I think I shimmied up the side of the porch.
94) Your scariest moment: lol when I was 18 and went on a date with Anthony. We fell asleep in his truck by the lake. When I woke up it was 4 a.m. I slapped him in the chest and told him he better drive me home before my granddaddy started getting out of the bed to stand on the porch with his rifle. I got home madd quick and was sneaking up the stairs in the dark to get in the bed.. my grandmother was at the top in her night gown like," Do you know what time it is?" All I remember saying is, "Huh?"
95) The silliest thing you've done: we had a pole dancing contest while we were drunk. All I know is I woke up shirtless and cold.
96) The funniest or most desperate thing you've done to get the attention of the opposite sex? lol when I was younger I worked at Hom.e Dep.ot. I would walk back and forth down the same damn aisle. It worked a few times though.
97) The scariest thing that's ever happened while with your friend(s): Shit.. me and some college friends were heading from Toledo. A rusty pickup truck with a confederate flag was in the window and started chasing us down the road. I swear we was scared out of our damn minds.
98) The best feeling in the world: love is one helluva drug.
99) The worst feeling in the world: to feel like you have no one in your corner.
100) 3 people you tag: I got tagged. So no, I will not have anyone else suffer. Do it if ya want though.
Friday, September 01, 2006
posted by thee modern isis at 9:04 AM
- Out of all of the pain that you have caused me, the torment and the hurt.. if you ever needed anything wholeheartedly.. I would give it to you or help you to get it.
- He's not my child.. but I would give my life for him. Just like a child he senses when I am hurting. When he comes to me, kisses and hugs me and tells me he doesn't want me to cry. I actually feel better... he's my baby.
- I wish you knew your worth. You are a 26 year old man, home owner, good job, does right by his son, loves his mother, intelligent- combination of street and book smarts, humorous and sexy. You've let past relationships blurr your vision.. please take my glasses and look closely at what I see.
- You're extremely intelligent but have no sense. You can not sleep with men to guarantee shit. Now you are paying the cost. Look at the context clues girl.. he still hasn't been to the clinic, he tells you he's too scared to find out the results but yet he's still sleeping with you.. without a condom. HE is the one that gave you that disease. I'm scared for you... extremely scared.
- I am so proud of you and I love you so much. You've grown into a bright woman. You have a wonderful son and a fiance' that loves you to death. I know our father isn't worth a pot to piss in.. but please.. don't let him make you feel guilty and for God's sake... stop giving him money. He is a grown ass man. We are his children, not the other way around.
- You are my inspiration. You are my best friend before I knew what best friend actually meant. You have been a mother to me when your own child wouldn't take on the task. You are divine wisdom and I pray that God let's you stay here. I need you and I don't know what I would do without you.
- You are a wonderful man. Silent and strong. No, you don't say "I love you" and no, you don't hug and kiss but I feel so much love from you. You fuss at me when I don't change my oil on time. You inspected my first apartment for me. You drove me to school everyday of my childhood life. lol Shit.. you drove me to work almost until I was 21. I love you so much.. my brother needs you. Continue to be the positive male role model he needs.
- mmk, you are 24 years old now. Why do you treat your mother the way that you do? Grow the hell up. How can you disrespect her and you still live with her? She needs to kick your triflin ass out. You're family and I love you.. but I would beat the black off of you if you were my child.
- You chose drugs over family. Can't you see how much your family loves you. Please come back.
- You are so lucky I can't fight you at work. You are a vindictive, spiteful, trifling woman. You make my job much harder then what it should be. But I bet ya 1 thing... you better not find me in the streets or that ass is mine.
- You're cool and everything but I hate your type of man. Too bad too cause you're extremly sexy.. football build with the tight abs BUT you talk too much on your sex game. There is a reason I've known you since 2nd grade and have never had sex with you.. get the picture?
Tenacious asked me 3 questions so I will proceed to answer them.
where do u see urself in 5 years? In 5 years I will be 29. I plan on being with my Master's degree. Possibly working in the Federal Department of my current job. Dwelling in Richmond, Virginia or D.C.. Engaged or married.
whats the craziest thing you have ever done? I swept the broom over my grandma's foot when I was younger.. and if you know southern grandma's.. you know I almost got killed.
favorite color and why? My favorite color is blue.. most people think of sadness. I think of tranquility. The beach in the Bahamas.. blue water as far as the eye can see.. filled with another world. If that's not peaceful.. I don't know what is.
Everyone have a safe, yet fun-filled Labor Day. Since I am being nice today.. damn that's rare. He's some CDs ya might wanna burn.
Justin Timberlake - FutureSex/ LoveSounds
- Isis