Wednesday, July 19, 2006
posted by thee modern isis at 10:01 AM

yeah, I'm being lazy SO WHAT!

your mouth game is like wha?! I don't believe you.. you need more people!

i really hate when dudes stunt and act like their dick or mouth game is all that.. and when you get it.. you coulda done it better ya damn self.

damn baby.. i guess u wasnt lyin on ya mouth.

i know i started this Floetry CD from jump.. and its over and he's STILL down there.

your daddy is a millionaire, yet you have your wedding in a small ass church with no a/c and it's 95 degrees outside.

smh your Maid of Honor has backfat and its humped up over her dress.

Okkkk.. your uncle sings and it reminds me of Coming to America with the fat man singing... "she's your queennnnn tooo beeee"

I have a bad habit of getting a guy's number and not calling him. I promise Imma call these 2 dudes this week before I forget how they look.

I normally don't do big guys but he was kinda cute.

Hmm.. the cat I've been talking to for a few months has potential but I don't know quite yet.

I normally maintain a professional business manner at work but if this chick twists her neck at me one more time.. I'm hittin her with the Cavalier.

She better hope I don't catch her in the hood.

I have a family reunion this weekend and I can't STAND this side of my family.

I was on vacation 2 weeks ago and spent an entire week catching up on the blogs I visit frequently. I was SO behind on my favorite black gossip sites.

My ex is still mad at me over something that happened a month ago. If he thinks I give a fuck he don't know me very well huh?

um.. can celibacy and oral sex go in the same sentence?

My sexual frustration level is off the meter.. but um.. if I get it now I won't stop.. so let me chill.

Wednesday, July 05, 2006
posted by thee modern isis at 9:54 AM

fuck the 4th of july. yeah I said it. That crap blowed. ..

I decided I was going to take my brother to the normal spot.. the Garfield Hts. Metroparks Home Days. They have a fair for a few days and on the 4th they have a huge fireworks show. He can ride on them expensive ass rides.. and eat a mortgaged hotdog from the carnival rednecks and call it a day. It rained the day before so it was about 3 inches of piled on mud in the fairgrounds with hay thrown over it. Um.. why did I fuck up my sandals? Sorry.. I drifted for a minute.

So I paid for him to ride 4 rides.. why was that mothafucka 15 dollas? WDF was I thinkin? So he's in line on ride 1. I turn my head to get a phone call.. I turn around and what the fuck? Five little nappy headed future strippers cut in front of him in line. Now.. in my childhood.. I hardly said much unless triggered, but I'll be damned if you gonna jump in front of me. So I take my brother by the shoulder's and move him in front of the ho-brigade (SP?). I say," Ty... stay in line.. don't let anyone jump in front of you." So he rides the ride.. I sink a half of inch in the mud, I woo-hoo enough for him to see I'm watching him and we walk off when he's done. Ride 2.. I tell him to get in line. I think to myself.. self? huh? What the fuck is that smell? Why did I come to the conclusion that it was horse shit mixed in with the mud.. ok I am getting mad by the minute. He rides the ride.. I woo-hoo again and he gets off. Ride 3.. is a mothafucka. It goes upside down and side to side.. and for him that would be tough. I say," Ty.. this one you might have to wait til' next year." He looks at me with a whiney face and says," Whyyy???.. I can do it!." I smirk and say," you sure man.. cause this one goes upside down.. look at it." "No, I can do it _______." So I shrug and say," Okkk, if you say so." He gets on the ride.. gets strapped on by Willie Nelson and Huckleberry Finn. First it starts rocking.. I look at his face and say.. hmm.. I hope he doesn't hurl. Next it starts going higher.. hmm.. his face has the booboo-gas look. Next it starts going in circles, upside down. I look and this boy is gripping the bars and holding himself up. Ok.. me being the sister that I am.. I crack up laughing. I swear I wanted the ride to stop.. but it seemed like it went on forever. He gets off drunkenly.. and the girl that was sitting next to him rolls her eyes at him like.. pshhh punk!. I laugh over to him and hug him.. he tells me how scary it was and I say lovingly,"Man Up!"

Each ride was 3 tickets... and we only purchased 10 to start. He has 1 ticket left, so I tell him I'll buy him 2 more tickets to make 3 and that was it. After that he can have a hotdog or something and we'll sit down. So I put him in line and he waits with his 2 dollars. I look up and here comes Billy Bob and his sister/babymama Amy Jo and there 3 dingy azz kids. I say dingy cause it looked like they let the baby bumpkin roll around in the hay for half the day and the other kids had on a Confederate's Rule shirt. They coast in front of Ty. So I say hell naw. I tap her on her shoulder nicely and say," excuse me, but he was in line before you." I take Ty and slide him in front of the incest clan. So she says to her brother," If she touches me one more time I know somethin." Me being the from the hood to the suburbs.. but don't make me go back to the hood chick I am.. I stared them down waiting for her to point at me. So he says," Who?" She wouldn't say because I was staring at her.. but she did the head twitch towards me. So he says," Who her?" Ok.. yes I am about 5'2... and yes I look like I'm 16 but I will break my size 7 1/2 off in they azz and bust out a 7 piece plus 1 if I break a nail. So he goes on to say that I have no respect.. mind you.. Amy Jo has backed up cause I guess she seen my eyebrow raise up and my lip twist into a Pshhhhhh. I tell him until he knows the definition of respect, then don't say anything else to me.. they cut in line before a 8 year old child. So he says something about I need to just watch my child and tend to my business. Aside from me trying to figure out the warning sign his lone top tooth was trying to wave to me.. and playing Name that Tune with the whistle his missing teeth gave off it seemed like everything in the world paused. I told him that if he knew like I knew.. he would stop his mouth from cashing a check his ass can't handle. I would think twice about mentioning my child again if I were him. I guess somewhere in the mix a State Trooper walked by and he decided not to say shyt else to me. I walked away and then flinched at his scary ass sister. Punk ass.

Never got to see the fireworks at the spot because it started raining hard as hell. So we walked down the hill and got back in the car. In the mist of that crap.. I lost one of my favorite silver hoop earrings, got soaking wet, dropped my glasses in the street, and had mud between my damn toes. A car parked too damn close to my ride that I had to climb through the passenger side to get in my 2-door. THEN.. I hit my side mirror on their damn car.. so I got out cussing and acting a fool cause the car parked in a spot that wasn't a parking space. We finally made it over my granny's house to see the fireworks. So as I sit here now with a million and one mosquito bites and angry because I'm at work.. I say never again will I go there or I swear I'm going to county for assault with a cellphone.

Fuck it.. Naomi can do it... so can I.