I was thinking about Mother's Day and what the day means to me last night after that upset of a Cavs game and I came to the conclusion that although highly commercialized, Mother's Day is important. My mom is my grandmother and I have been calling her Mommy and Mama for years and I never thought anything of it until she actually stepped up to the plate and became my "mother".
You see, I moved out of my biological mother's house when I was a late teen due to abuse. Not just mental and emotional, but physical as well. Throughout the ordeal the only person that I could confide in that I knew would never tell a soul was my grandmother. I know it hurt her alot to see me crying and hurting but it was a promise I asked of her, a promise I needed because at that time had someone else knew, it would have only gotten worse. She gave me passages in the bible to read but as I read and prayed, prayed so hard with my eyes shut so tight that it felt I could have probably pulled The Almighty from heaven through telekineses. Days turned into weeks, weeks into months and months into years without so much as a change that I gave up on Him and lost all faith that I would be saved. I couldn't fathom why He would put one of His children through such pain, I thought about running away but figured I would only be brought back. I thought about suicide as a quick escape but quickly got off of that because I didn't have the guts to do that to myself.
I was stuck.
My grandmother was the force behind what started a huge ripple effect, an effect that ended in my grandfather getting pissed and coming to my house, looking my mother in her eye and saying, "She's coming with me." I was scared yet happy, scared because this was the first time I would be without my mother and happy because I could start living a "normal" life.
Living in my grandmother's house was a huge change. I had to be in the house at a certain time, I couldn't go out to parties, the latest I stayed out was only on prom night but I wouldn't trade it for the world. I got to hear stories about my grandmother's childhood, she told me things about me as a child, things about my mother and when she was "sane", and even told me secrets that i still to this day hold dear. My grandmother has been my rock, someone that believed in me when I didn't believe in myself. She makes me laugh and can grate my last nerve all in one day and I have no idea how I would handle it if she was to pass away.
So even though I use every day to cherish her, buy her things just because, call her at 10:45 a.m. every day Monday-Friday, visit her on Saturdays and call her on Sundays to tell her about church, Mother's Day is her day.
So Happy Mother's Day Ma, you are that and so much more to me.
Love your granddaughter, Natasha