Monday, November 27, 2006
tears of happiness
posted by thee modern isis at 6:12 PM

I have been going over and over in my mind about if it was necessary to write anything regarding what everyone already knows to be. Then I thought about it and realized that this is my blog.. and to do with as I please.

I have been SO busy with the few days I have had off that I haven't had a chance to hit up select people. Charge it to my head and not my heart. Me being me, I kept putting off contacting everyone because I was cooking, baking, trying to rest, nursing a sick child and so much more. Monday morning, I had planned on hitting up Trizz to tell her about the madness of Thanksgiving. Monday morning while sitting in my chair,and drinking my coffee I had planned on doing what I normally did and see how she was doing. Monday morning, I had planned on laughing and joking like I normally did but Monday morning came and went and I didn't get a chance to say and do any of the insignificant things I wanted so badly to do and say.

I saw my homegirl's name pop up in my phone on Sunday and I was getting ready to get the "real and not the go-to answer" of how she was doing.. but instead was greeted with a message from her sister, Dorothy. I received the message at 1:31 p.m. and didn't respond until 7:39 p.m., it took that long to register. In my mind, It wasn't supposed to play out like that. I kept telling her that Dr. Thomas was wrong.. and she was going to be here for many Christmas'. Regardless of how she was doing, she always asked about my health and if I had spoken with my doctor. That was my girl.. and had we been in the same state I'm positive we would have been tight. We talked about damn near everything and laughed at things that were on a hush-hush basis. Those things I'll take to my grave because she knew I wouldn't tell a soul. For a brief moment, I admit I was being selfish. I wished for her to stay on this earth and continue to be the wonderful mother that she was. I prayed that should would be able to see her daughter graduate school, find love and get married. I prayed that she would be like the people on television, where they prove all of the doctor's wrong and look death in the eye and keep living.

The Most High had other plans though and I realized that everybody is placed in your life for a reason. I accept that. I learned alot from Trizz, and that is to always be optimistic about life. We choose our own happiness. That is what I am taking from our friendship. So the tears I shed while typing this aren't because I am sad, but because I am happy that she is indeed somewhere I strive to be.


Trish, I'll see you when I get there chica!



-Tasha
 
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Wednesday, November 22, 2006
4teen 4's
posted by thee modern isis at 1:09 PM

I am thankful for alot of things in my life, in which I continue to give thanks.

for my brother (my baby), he see's me as his role model and everyday I strive to be just that.. his she-ro.

for my health, every day I turn on the News and continue to give thanks because as with every situation.. it could always be worse.

for my past.. i regret nothing but instead use every situation as a learning tool to assemble my life in which He wants me to live it

for my future.. for only He knows what tomorrow holds

for love .. it has taught me to never withhold my true feelings.

for loss of love.. it has taught me that just because I have grown and matured, it doesn't necessarily mean that everyone else has kept up.

for my T-mo.bile unlimited text messages because without them.. I would have a notoriously large phone bill.

for family and newfound family members.. they never cease to amaze me.

for my job.. yes it can be strenuous but it's more then what some people have and for that I am thankful.

for my Office husband .. he makes coffee for me every morning.

for his wife .. who doesn't seem to mind that he's my office husband .. she buys me Star.bucks sometimes.

for my many assortment of Tim.bs .. and the ability to keep them to myself when my coworkers ask me something stupid

for the Cleveland weather (so far) .. because I have yet to buy snow tires and I don't really want to.

for all of the bloggers .. that actually take the time out to read and comment on my rantings and miscellaneous posts that don't quite follow the "blogger protocol" like others .. but it's just me.


I hope everyone has a safe and wonderful Thanksgiving

-Isis



 
1 comments
Monday, November 13, 2006
Not really a post but..
posted by thee modern isis at 12:20 PM

Yeah.. this really isn't a post but I have to say...

This new Jay is fire. I have been boppin' to it all morning since my brother sent me the link. Yes, ya girl didn't BUY it.. but when it comes out I have to give Young H.O. his due. I love Jay, not clearly as much as Nas but please believe when Nas' album leaks then ya girl will have that too.

Ok.. I think I'm ok now. I have been madd occupied. I have a new um.. "interest" and he's a youngin'. lmao yup.. I'm ONLY 24 but he's 21 and oh my.. that's all I can say on that.

Let me get back to work.. I've been randomly shoutin.. "Jigga" and the white people probably think I'm exhibiting signs of touretts.

-Isis
 
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Thursday, November 09, 2006
breath of fresh air
posted by thee modern isis at 2:45 PM

Ok, so I know I'm about to be vague as all hell.. and normally it's not my style but I'm still coming to terms with this.

Have you ever had something so crucial, something so important to tell someone.. but you kept it all to yourself for fear that you would lose yourself? Lose yourself in something that just may be your ultimate moira. It's something that just needed to be said, spoken to a particular person.. and everytime, every minute of every day that you kept it caged in.. you felt like you couldn't breathe. With each gasp you felt as though you were dying inside because you had to relieve yourself of the feeling.

Then one day.. you realized that life is too short.. and if you never say it.. never claim it, then you just may never get a chance to. You finally opened your mouth and said what was needed.. and you breathed. It doesn't really matter how the person receives it.. how they accept what you said because even if they don't like it.. you did what was necessary.. you took your leap of faith..
and breathed.

-Isis



 
5 comments
Friday, November 03, 2006
Things I remember ..
posted by thee modern isis at 2:02 PM

Why is it that I look at my 9 year old brother and instead of going outside, he'd rather be in the house watching Nickolodeon/Disney, playing Playstation or playing games on the computer.


**I remember when my grandma would stand on the porch in her duster when the street lights were on and scream my name over and over again.

**I remember I was never around, somewhere on my bike around the block and soon as I hit the street someone would say, " your grandma was calling you."

**I remember when I used to be taller then all of the boys on the street.

**I remember when I had a white and yellow banana seat bike with the streamers in the handlebars.

**I would always ride that one friend that didn't have a bike.

**I remember when (real) scooters were popular, and not them damn skinny ones that came out a few years ago.

**I remember when I got my first mountain bike and we would be like 7 deep riding around the city.

**I remember asking my granddaddy for a dollar then going to the corner store and getting a quarter juice, a bag of chips, 20 pieces of penny candy, 2 packs of johnny apple seeds, 2 packs of cherry clans and 2 packs of lemon heads.

**I remember finding 10 cents then going BACK to the corner store to get a koolaid pack, then going in the house and mixing it with sugar in a sandwich baggie and having all my friends put they hand out for some.

**I remember all of my friends having one red hand cause the koolaid stained it.

**I remember hot pickles.

**I remember playing 4 squares, freeze tag, TV tag, hand slaps, dodge ball, and of course someone's porch was safe.

**I remember when we played freeze tag, that one punk used to always shout out.. TIMEOUT! when they was about to get caught.

**I remember standing on the sidewalk and practicing steps.

**I still remember all of the hand clap songs. ex: "Miss Mary Mack, Mack, Mack.. all dressed in Black, Black, Black...."

**I remember cassette players and buying singles.

**I remember writing down the lyrics to my favorite songs then singing them in the mirror.

**I remember being in the church choir and regardless if I messed up a song or not, all of the old ladies would smile and say, " Bless her hawt!"

**I remember having indoor recesses at school and getting to play "Heads up, 7-up"

**I remember having 3 empty 5-gallon ice cream buckets filled with barretts and bow's of every color.

**I remember coming in the house after playing outside, taking my bath and coming down the stairs in my pajamas with the feet in them.

**I remember growing out of them damn pajamas and my granddaddy would cut the feet off and I still had to wear them.

**I remember Cosby nights, we would all sit around in the living room and watch the Cosby show and see if they changed the beginning theme again.



I look at my brother and the kids now-a-days and wonder what's wrong with them..

damn.. I miss being a kid!

-Isis

 
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