I am going to stop being lazy.. regardless of it being as hot as satan's piss with syphlis. I normally did my blogging at work, but the white boy in the cubicle next to me either likes me or is trying to infiltrate my internet hopping.. so I decided to give it a break and only blog when I got home. By the time I cut the A/C on, threw on some lounging booty shorts and a wife beater, I was too "tired" to blog. NO MORE EXCUSES I TELL YOU!
So I had a family reunion this past weekend, nowhere special.. we stayed in Cleveland and I opted to take part of the entire "reunion experience" and stay in a hotel. I mean shit.. you can lounge all you want, don't have to wash dishes, and people watch. I'm all for it. Yes, I like to people watch.. I feel like them old ass ladies because I will just sit and watch everyone walk by.. watch the damn fuckery unfold as people get sloppy ass drunk and wanna sing blues songs by BeBe King and Muddy Waters in your ear... yeah they were old but the shit was hilarious. My packing skills are atrocious. I pack whatever is in my grasp.. so this time I prepared and only packed enough clothes for the 2 night stay, the formal banquet and some various clothes just in case. Hey.. you never know. Not to mention the matching accessories, a pimp hat because I knew I was going to have to lay the smack down on someone before the thing was over, and 6 pairs of shoes.
Half the cousin's I don't like.. half don't like me because I'm not pregnant, don't have kids, don't live in the projects, don't stay with a drunk aunt, did I mention don't have kids and managed to do this all while under 25. By the way.. I'm 24. Shit.. I commend myself and they should too... it's hard out there when dudes see you and the first thing out of their mouth is.. "So.. how many kids do you have?" The look on my face when I say.. "pshhhhhhhhh.. none." is priceless. Not only did the Embassy book our family reunion but 3 others. So we were couped up with a bunch of snot nosed ass kids, too big clothes wearin boys and short shorts wearin, itty-bitty ponytail wearin little girls runnin around playin "catch me if you can" with the elevators.
I had promised my brother he could go swimming so he and my little "play" cousin got in the pool and did what kids do. There were a group of 10 other kids ranging in all ages in the swimming pool also, no adults present for them. No life guard, not nothing. Not only that, but the sign on the door said that unless they were 18 or older, they needed a parent or guardian with them. Me, my aunt and friend were the only ones in there and I was only responsible for the two.. so I feel bad if some of the kids would have drowned. The most I can do is go get someone cause off top.. they bad asses shouldn't have been jumpin in the pool like scuba men and for 2. Isis don't swim. I gently glide..and I can wade... but swim? wdf.
Why did these bad ass kids start cannon balling in the pool.. I swear if the water would have jumped on me.. I would have been arrested for shoving my 3 inch sandal up a child's ass. Ok.. so I'm laying back on the lounge chair. I was in a daze and looked out into the pool.. I thought something was wrong with me but when I rubbed my eyes.. them bad ass kids had taken a turtle from the pond in the middle of the hotel and threw it in the swimming pool. The little turtle was trying its hardest to battle the waves of stinking kids and the chemicals of chlorine. Finally one of the kids got tired of tormenting the turtle and sat it in the hotel lobby. So now the little turtle was trying to get back to the pond.. and it was only moving so fast. lmao I finally went over to the the gay janitor and told him they turtle was in the lobby crawling on the carpet. Wait.. a gay janitor.. I swear he was a little Too happy with his keys swayin and jinglin'. Ya jinglin' baby.. go head baby.
The reunion was so unorganized no one knew where the picnic reservation was.. but it was about 45 minutes AWAY from the hotel and I got lost atleast 5 times. Finally got there and ate some soupy ass macaroni and cheese. I mean what the fuck? The macaroni and cheese even segregated itself cause the cheese was on one side.. the oil was on the other and the noodles had peaced themselves out. The shit was nasty. I ate a piece of BBQ'd beef and had some baked beans.. and called it a day. No way was I staying out on Hell's reservation for 8 hours so I left around 4 to go shower and watch movies in the hotel. So my fast ass cousin decides to call me that night to tell me about going to some club/bar. I didn't want to go with the cousin't she was suggesting cause if some shit pops off.. I'd be left by myself. I don't expect None of them to help me out with a situation and secondly.. I use to hang tough with my one cousin but she got stuck on stupid and dumb as fuck and I simply can't handle the shit. She's wild.. and when I say wild.. TOO damn wild. She's that one chick at the club or bar that all the girls are looking at like ugh wdf is she doing.. and all the guys are like.. damn i bet i can fuck. Then on top of that she gets pissy ass drunk so among giving lap dances to any dude around she will drop her skirt/pants/or whatever she is wearing at the moment and piss on the side of a building, side of a car, side of anything and not give 2 fucks about it. I can't hang around that type of shit. When I do decide to go out with her.. I'm too busy getting in arguments with dudes that think just cause we're related, I'm like her too.. or I'm trying to snuff dudes that try and steal the chocha and take her home. Umm.. sorry my dude but I rode with her so you can't steal the chocha this time.. but um.. maybe next time when I drive separately. Im just kiddin.. I think.
She got into a funky ass attitude when I told her I was good on that.. and sure enough my cousin C chilled with some older cousin's of ours. She acted a straight up ass and now they are going to tell the entire family about her trifling ass.. their words.. not mine. I'm sure they will add things that didn't happen but it serves her right for being around that type. The police wandered the hallways of the hotel both nights cause fights jumped off left and right. I did manage to get my line dance on at the banquet so shoot.. I was good. Other then the bullshit at hand. ..
I had an O.K. time.
she's physically in cleveland. emotionally in virginia. short female. 26 years old. nonchalant at times. sassy. smart-mouthed. always laughing. breathes music. single by default. workaholic by choice. an aquarius.. enough said. yes this is Her Story.
From: Cleveland, Ohio
About me: she's physically in cleveland. emotionally in virginia. short female. 26 years old. nonchalant at times. sassy. smart-mouthed. always laughing. breathes music. single by default. workaholic by choice. an aquarius.. enough said. yes this is Her Story.
