I don't even know what to title this thing. It's going to be a load of me rambling about whatever I can think of while I'm working on Masta's field *looks around*. I have been given the greenlight to write.. so here I am.. thanks Tenacious! lol
Ok.. so Saturday I was going to see my brother at his baseball banquet. He had his little uniform on to receive this first ever trophy's.. mind you.. these little things look like alluminum foil stapled to blocks of marble.. but he loves them all the same. *shrugs* My aunt of course thinks that just because she volunteered to help.. I am also. Since it was potluck themed.. everyone (almost) brought a dish to share. My grandma baked about 3 sour cream pound cakes and what did I bake/cook you ask? Not a damn thing. I wasn't in the mood but I did drop a good 2 dollars on some foam bowls courtesy of Family Dollar.
So I'm looking extra cute.. with my burnt sienna and beige sandals, my tweed tan gaucho's and my sienna "Define Boyfriend?" shirt. Gotta love it. So she asks me to help cut up and distribute the dessert. Ok.. Ok.. I help. So I get some of those cheap plastic gloves and commence to mean mugging and slapping peach cobbler into bowls. Another baseball mom was there with me.. she's madd cool, she's dressed cute also so we're laughing it up like 2 childhood friends. We get the random shouts from the father's talking about, "Damn, got ya'll 2 sweet things serving desert!." We laughed and kept it moving.. NEXT.
*Flashback* They are holding this function in the same place I went to Catho.lic Elemen.tary Sc.hool at. I'm remembering being 14 and having the lunch aids slap something that looked like peas and smelled like mystery meat onto my foam sectioned plate while they threw a 2% carton of milk, a spork set and hollared, "NEXT!!!"
lmao why did I feel like the lunch aide.. minus the hair net.. cause um.. a sista wasn't going out like that. I was looking too cute and it was not possible to have a hair net on and still giving the "look" to the random guys that showed up to support their family.
So I'm slinging sheet cake, pie's, peach cobbler and I'm laughing because I simply HATE peach cobbler. I am not a fan so it smelled like death warmed over. I instantly remember that um.. I didn't get my plate and the good food will be gone so I do a mad dash over to the table with a take-out box to fill my plate and I notice something. It looks like mashed potatoes with chives but somethin ain't quite right. I tap my aunt like, " What's that?" She tells me some lady made a big pan of rice and chives.. the rice is too cooked and it just sat in a thick mass fo white. She laughed while telling me that everyone was wanting mashed potatoes but when they discovered it was rice, everyone passed. I quickly took the sheet of rice and sat it in the kitchen, under a towel.
So as I come back and proceed to fix my carryout boxes, I notice some strange lady has taken my place as the "dessert passer outer". I shrug it off like oh well but when I go in the kitchen.. F (the cool baseball mom) is looking at me like Help. I laugh and notice that the lady is the one that brought the big sheet cake but now she finds the need to slice it and distribute it. Mind you.. I was in the process of doing that so she took over. If you all would have seen how she was slicing the damn cake.. I was in awe. We didn't have a knife, we had a plastic spatula so of course you know the cake is going to stick to the spatula. So I was cutting it out in a square and then with the other gloved hand, taking it off the spatula and sitting it on the little plates. That was the cake maintains it's appearance. THIS LADY.. was scooping it out with the spatula.. flipping it upside down so that the frosting was upside down and smearing the cake unto the plate and handing it off.
I did take culinary arts classes so ya girl can throw down.. not to mention grandma made sure I didn't go outside to play unless I baked a cake, some cookies, or something. I was the only 12 year old girl on the block that could make a sweet potato pie by scratch. So I'm remembering from the classes that when it comes to cooking and baking, presentation is everything. Not to mention I am picky as hell and if you don't care how you throw the shit on the plate.. you also don't care that I won't eat it. I was very polite and said," Excuse me ma'am.. since I was doing this first and left for a second you mind if I take over and continue." She looked at me like I spit in the cake. I backed up because I did not wanna embarrass this lady while her kids are up their getting their rinky-dink trophy's. SO I backed off... and she felt my wrath when no one ate that damn cake. I ended up throwing the one's she cut away.
I'm finally fed up with the shit.. I go back to sit down and smash on some chicken and dirty rice. Man.. that dirty rice was so good. My aunt calls for me and says," Isis.. don't you wanna help me clean up?" GOT DAMN. Why do people especially family, drag you down also? So after my little tyrant.. I tell her," whatever." At the end I get up to help clean and I'm throwing whatever away. Shit.. a pot of beans? In the trash. A saucer of vegetables? Trash. A plate of biscuits? Trash. The "cake-slasher" decides she's going to help also. Cool I think. Negative. She goes in the back and why did this heffa store 2 additional cakes in the cooler so no one could get them and she could share it with her people. I was like WDF. She proceeded to sit her fat ass down eating strawberry pie while my aunt, myself and several other mom's was cleaning up.
Never again I tell you.
*side note* I will not go to Wal.mart and watch a lady actually whip her breasts out in the lay-a-way line. Homegirl actually whipped a breast out to try on her bra's she was paying on and when the girl at the counter said," Ma'am, you can't do that." She yelled at her and replied," LIKE YOU NEVER SEEN TIDDIES BEFORE!"
I was so outdone...
she's physically in cleveland. emotionally in virginia. short female. 26 years old. nonchalant at times. sassy. smart-mouthed. always laughing. breathes music. single by default. workaholic by choice. an aquarius.. enough said. yes this is Her Story.
From: Cleveland, Ohio
About me: she's physically in cleveland. emotionally in virginia. short female. 26 years old. nonchalant at times. sassy. smart-mouthed. always laughing. breathes music. single by default. workaholic by choice. an aquarius.. enough said. yes this is Her Story.
Tuesday, August 29, 2006
posted by thee modern isis at 11:35 AM
10 Comments:
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Post a CommentAt 8/29/2006 6:41 PM, 
Rashan Jamal
Which Wal.Mart is this? LMAO
Usually at potlucks, I'm not eating anything unless i know who made it. I got to judge their cleanliness before I'll try it. We had a potluck at work one day and this lady made some meatballs. Same day, she got sick and vomited all over the place, then got mad when noone ate her suspect meatballs.
Off topic... why do you have comment moderation on? You censoring us? LOL
At 8/29/2006 6:46 PM, Rashan Jamal
Which Wal.Mart is this? LMAO
Usually at potlucks, I'm not eating anything unless i know who made it. I got to judge their cleanliness before I'll try it. We had a potluck at work one day and this lady made some meatballs. Same day, she got sick and vomited all over the place, then got mad when noone ate her suspect meatballs.
Off topic... why do you have comment moderation on? You censoring us? LOL
At 8/30/2006 12:56 AM, Tenacious
OMG @ the amazing titty slinging woman...I am too mad she was trying on the bra...in the lay a way line...how much does a bra cost again?! Tell me she wasnt putting a $15 bra on lay a way!!
I hate people like that. Lazy ass, shouldve slapped that cake out her hand.
Ok I can't cook worth shit but I know all about presentation and I'm picky..if it smells or doesnt look right, I don't eat it. I also HATE peach cobbler...another reason why my "Black" card is on probation. I thought I was the only Black person who hates the stuff.
Define boyfriend...LOL..You have to tell me where u go it...I have "In Between Boyfriends"....
Aww congrats to the lil' bro, I dont know the big deal with the rinky dink trophy either but their faces lighting up is enough.
@ Isis...Ok I've completely taken over the comment box
I do the same thing with pics..I'll take the same one over and over
I get those same types of pictures...funny enough they're NOT from the fiance he is so not on that
I don't do it often only when I'm feeling extra racy and want to surprise him. No nude shots just the illusion of nudity...lol
At 8/30/2006 12:57 AM, Tenacious
OMG @ the amazing titty slinging woman...I am too mad she was trying on the bra...in the lay a way line...how much does a bra cost again?! Tell me she wasnt putting a $15 bra on lay a way!!
I hate people like that. Lazy ass, shouldve slapped that cake out her hand.
Ok I can't cook worth shit but I know all about presentation and I'm picky..if it smells or doesnt look right, I don't eat it. I also HATE peach cobbler...another reason why my "Black" card is on probation. I thought I was the only Black person who hates the stuff.
Define boyfriend...LOL..You have to tell me where u go it...I have "In Between Boyfriends"....
Aww congrats to the lil' bro, I dont know the big deal with the rinky dink trophy either but their faces lighting up is enough.
@ Isis...Ok I've completely taken over the comment box
I do the same thing with pics..I'll take the same one over and over
I get those same types of pictures...funny enough they're NOT from the fiance he is so not on that
I don't do it often only when I'm feeling extra racy and want to surprise him. No nude shots just the illusion of nudity...lol
At 8/30/2006 12:57 AM, Tenacious
OMG @ the amazing titty slinging woman...I am too mad she was trying on the bra...in the lay a way line...how much does a bra cost again?! Tell me she wasnt putting a $15 bra on lay a way!!
I hate people like that. Lazy ass, shouldve slapped that cake out her hand.
Ok I can't cook worth shit but I know all about presentation and I'm picky..if it smells or doesnt look right, I don't eat it. I also HATE peach cobbler...another reason why my "Black" card is on probation. I thought I was the only Black person who hates the stuff.
Define boyfriend...LOL..You have to tell me where u go it...I have "In Between Boyfriends"....
Aww congrats to the lil' bro, I dont know the big deal with the rinky dink trophy either but their faces lighting up is enough.
@ Isis...Ok I've completely taken over the comment box
I do the same thing with pics..I'll take the same one over and over
I get those same types of pictures...funny enough they're NOT from the fiance he is so not on that
I don't do it often only when I'm feeling extra racy and want to surprise him. No nude shots just the illusion of nudity...lol
At 8/30/2006 9:21 AM, thee modern isis
@ Trish: Homegirl was crazy. On top of that she lied telling everyone that she made the cake.. she ain't made shit.
@ T Cas: LMAO .. see, I'm not telling you the Walmart now. Cause I swear if I see someone trying on drawls.. I.will.scream. lol my comment moderation is on because I noticed on some people's blogs they have thos random spam virus' that say some crazy shit like... Supercalifragalisticespialadocious!
@ Tenacious: No.. I absolutely despise peach cobbler. It stinks to me. My Define Boyfriend shirt.. courtesy of Marshall's
@ Mistress: If it's family I'm cool with I can deal with them. If it's the OTHER family that I have to watch my back on.. I can do without.
At 8/30/2006 3:05 PM, Prophetess
Girl, I don't eat nobody's food but mine, my Momma's, or my sisters', and then too, I'm picky about which sister's food I eat! Chick with the bra was pathetic. Lay away, huh? (Shaking my head).
Thanks for coming my way the other day; I was just stopping by to return the favor. Have a good one, okay? I'll be back later!